Confessions of a Psycho Swim Parent

Today, I received an e-mail from a swim parent whom I have never met:

Dear Coach,
Last year I discovered your blog Swimtelligence and have really enjoyed reading your insights and tips into the sport my eleven year old son has come to love.

I must confess that for the first two years I was probably best described as the epitome of a psycho swim parent. I pushed my son to push his own limits, I pushed the coach to do better, I bought all the training tools, 47 different suits--although even I drew the line a the purchase of a technical suit for a 10 year old going to state for the first time.

It must be something about parenting, and kids sports that causes some of us to lose our minds so completely.

I will tell you that our team, is blessed with a really great coach. Coach X has a skill and wisdom that far outstrips his youth. At less than 25 years old he seems to have gained the patience of Job himself when it comes to parents and swimmers.

He is also a truly gifted coach when it comes to developing some swimmers to the amazing results leading them to sectional, zone and even junior nationals---all the more amazing when one considers the team is only about 100 swimmers total. But, it isn't just with the "super stars" that he is a great coach. It is with the overweight kid who has no shot at state times but continues to improve and strive to do his best, it is with the middle school girls who frequently have to pause in the middle of sets to discuss in detail the drama of their lives. He is great with the kids who screw around and the kids who are shy and quiet. He is great with the kids with disabilities, and the kids who are only there because their parents "make them."

In short, in the last couple of years I became a much less "psycho-swim-parent" in large part because of the calm professional demeanor, cool temper and quick wit of our coach. Sure every coach has a bad day, and lets slip something regretful, but those are extremely rare with Coach X.

I guess the reason I am writing to you is because I was hoping you might include something in the "for the coaches" section--encouraging them not to give up on the crazy parents---just keep their cool, remain professional, let us blow off the steam---Parenting is much more difficult that I ever thought it was going to be, and being a "psycho-swim-parent" was only one of the mistakes I made along the way. I was fortunate enough to have a Swim Coach with enough patience to let me discover the problem and correct it.

While not perfect by a long shot, I have become a much more encouraging parent, a supportive parent (of both the coach and of my kids).

I focus on the contributions I can make to my son's development of character, integrity, and commitment instead of on his stroke count, streamlining and freestyle technique. The leadership and modeling of behavior that I give my son in those areas transfers to his performance in the classroom, in the pool and with his friends. I let the coach do his job and I do mine and my son gets the best that both of have to offer.

Sincerely,

Former Psycho Swim Parent

Thank you, Swim Parent. I published your e-mail in its entirety because I couldn't write it any better than you did.

Those Who Do

Here's an excerpt from Dara Torres' book Age is Just a Number.

"When I was training for the 1984 Olympics at Mission Viejo, a sociologist named Daniel Chambliss watched us practice nearly every day. Chambliss then wrote a book called Champions: The Making of Olympic Swimmers. That book totally captures the details-matter mind-set... swimming is sort of like one of those Impressionist paintings made with millions of dots. Sure, a dot is a dot. What's the big deal? But if you care enough to make each dot the exact right size and the exact right color in the exact right place, something amazing occurs."

She goes on to say:

"The truth is simple: Most swimmers choose every day not to do the little things. They choose, in effect, not to win...In some sense everyone 'could' win the Olympic Games, but 'could' doesn't count. The gold medal is reserved for those who do."

I couldn't have said it better myself... the gold medal is reserved for those who DO.

Not those who dream.

Not those who wish.

Not those who want.

THOSE WHO DO.

The Case for Breathing Every 3

Every swimmer should breathe every 3rd stroke during freestyle training. Many are reluctant to change. Allow me to state my case:

Exhibit A: Breathing bilaterally keeps your stroke even. Ever seen a swimmer who "limps" as they swim? Was he breathing every 3? Exactly.

Exhibit B: Breathing every 3 helps avoid neck and shoulder tightness. Swimmers who breathe only to one side try this: Turn your head to the right. Turn your head to the left. Is your flexibility equal in both directions? Most likely you can turn your head further to your breathing side.

Exhibit C: Head position determines body position. We breathe with our heads. In my observation, 99% of freestylers could improve their breathing mechanics. Thus with better breathing mechanics, almost every swimmer can improve her body position, reducing drag.

Exhibit D: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. To pick your head up or to pull your head to the side to side to breathe, you must support that position. Thus, unless your breathing mechanics are perfect, you are exerting energy and effort to support that imbalance. This is energy that could be used to propel you forward.

Exhibit E: "I get less oxygen when I breathe every 3rd stroke," say the every-stroke-breathers. Changing a habit is not easy. Learning a new skill takes time. At first, you will get less oxygen when you breathe every 3. As you develop your bilateral habit, you will learn to relax and breathe deeper. Soon you will be able to take in nearly as much oxygen as before.

Exhibit F: With imperfect breathing mechanics, the equal and opposite reactions can often cause stroke irregularities that can cause injury, most often to the shoulders. Who would have thought that simply breathing could injure you?

The floor is open for cross-examination.

Are You an UGLY Swimmer?

Do you exhibit these traits that might make you an UGLY swimmer?

U sually late is how you arrive to the pool. Be prepared and start on time to maximize your improvement potential.

G oal setting is a chore for you. Become a champion goal-setter if you wish to become a champion.

L azy around your walls. The turns can make an ordinary swimmer good and a good swimmer great. Concentrate on making yours better to make the leap to the next level.

Y earning to be better without making an increased commitment. Achievement follows a commitment to excellence.

Check out SwImtelligence at The Athlete Village

SwImtelligence is growing wings! I will now be simultaneously be publishing here and at The Athlete Village (www.theathletevillage.com). Hopefully, this will attract some new interest from readers and help inspire more innovative ideas. Check it out!

Featured Drill: Flags-In Finishes

The finish is among the least frequently practiced skills in our sport, in my observation. This drill serves as a mini-progression to help swimmers adjust to the presence of the wall appropriately during a finish, thus practicing for that gold medal moment.

We did this as a set of 16 x 50 today, 6 done like phase 1, 6 in phase 2, and the final 4 in phase 3. Here's the progression.

Phase 1
At the conclusion of the 50, the swimmer takes his last stroke at the backstroke flags and then positions his body for the finish, kicking strong all the way to an extended touch.



Phase 2
Same idea as the first phase, just move everything closer to the wall. Take the last stroke halfway between the flags and the wall. Make sure the swimmer is paying close attention to the spacing with the wall.



Phase 3
Now do an all-out finish, touching with the body at maximum length. The swimmer should touch with the fingertips. With the wall-judging ability honed in phases 1 and 2, the swimmer should be able to time his finish very precisely.



Try this progression for any stroke. You never know when your finish will make the difference between gold and silver!

Thank you to Heath Hudgins (the swimmer in the videos) for being a willing example.

A Father's Example

Last week, I was struck by the brilliance of American speedskater Apollo Ohno's daring tactics and last-minute heroics at the Winter Olympics' short-track speed skating events. I was even more in awe of NBC's "human interest" story on Apollo and his father. It went something like this:

Apollo was raised by his single father Yuki in Seattle. As a young speedskater, he excelled in his sport despite skipping out on training from time-to-time without the knowledge of his father. He and his father lived the crazy life of a skating family, so similar to that of many swimming families - up in the morning for practices, entire weekends spent at meets, much of the family time devoted to the sport. Apollo eventually became an elite athlete by 1998, but finished dead last at the Olympic Trials. "He could tell that I didn't give my best effort, that I gave up, and it crushed him," says a more mature Apollo now. When they returned home, Yuki took him to a remote oceanside cabin and DROPPED HIM OFF, saying "you need to decide what you want to do with your life." Heavy stuff for a teenager! Young Apollo sat in that cabin and thought, and finally EIGHT DAYS LATER, called his father and said, "this is what I want to do, I want to skate." Ohno has since become one of the most decorated Winter Olympians in history, by his own admission largely due to the path he has chosen since that day.

Hearing that story, part of me thinks Yuki must have been crazy to drop his son off and not go check on him for eight days. The lesson here is not in the details, but that Apollo's father asked him to make a commitment. After his son's last-place finish, it would have been easy for him to say, "You've reached a high level, and you did your best," even when it clearly wasn't the case. Instead, he asked his son to make a commitment, and backed it up with an equal commitment on his part. What a terrific example to sports parents everywhere who might struggle to get up early to drive their kids to morning practice, or who question whether their child needs to attend ANOTHER competition. Maybe the kid will become an Olympian, maybe he won't. But by encouraging him to make and keep a commitment and making the same one yourself, you are teaching your child a valuable lifelong lesson that won't be undone.