Top Christmas Gifts for Swimmers (and One for Your Coach)

...and you don't even have to go out on Black Friday!

For the gift that keeps on giving, get The Original Backnobber II ($28.95)and help your swimmer get rid of those tight back and shoulder muscles by making him do it himself.  Or, if you really want to pamper your swimmer and save a little cash, get the Original Palmassager ($7.95). While relaxing, your swimmer can watch The Three Styles of Freestyle DVD ($39.95).  Mike Bottom is the world's preeminent sprint freestyle coach, and his philosophy on freestyle technique can help swimmers improve at all distances.  To help your swimmer figure out what style is best for him, get The Athlete Village video review ($49.99 or use this discount code for 10% off: RW21846) and have an elite coach review your swimmer's stroke remotely through the internet.  The best part - it's 100% guaranteed money back if you aren't satisfied.  For a little inspiration and a dose of history, put The Great Swim by Gavin Mortimer ($6.40) in your swimmer's stocking.  After all that therapeutic massage, education, and inspiration, it will eventually be time to get in the water for that post-holiday training.  The Finis Tempo Trainer ($31.99) is the ultimate tool for the precision-oriented athlete.  A yardage monster who swims for fitness might be more interested in the SwiMP3 ($149.99). And don't forget to get Games, Gimmicks, and Challenges by Bob Steele ($29)for your coach who may need a few ideas for games to break up those New Year's distance sets.

One for Mom and Dad

Don Swartz and Ken DeMont had an amazing post over at Swim Coach Direct. A must-read for all swim parents.

Confessions of a Psycho Swim Parent

Today, I received an e-mail from a swim parent whom I have never met:

Dear Coach,
Last year I discovered your blog Swimtelligence and have really enjoyed reading your insights and tips into the sport my eleven year old son has come to love.

I must confess that for the first two years I was probably best described as the epitome of a psycho swim parent. I pushed my son to push his own limits, I pushed the coach to do better, I bought all the training tools, 47 different suits--although even I drew the line a the purchase of a technical suit for a 10 year old going to state for the first time.

It must be something about parenting, and kids sports that causes some of us to lose our minds so completely.

I will tell you that our team, is blessed with a really great coach. Coach X has a skill and wisdom that far outstrips his youth. At less than 25 years old he seems to have gained the patience of Job himself when it comes to parents and swimmers.

He is also a truly gifted coach when it comes to developing some swimmers to the amazing results leading them to sectional, zone and even junior nationals---all the more amazing when one considers the team is only about 100 swimmers total. But, it isn't just with the "super stars" that he is a great coach. It is with the overweight kid who has no shot at state times but continues to improve and strive to do his best, it is with the middle school girls who frequently have to pause in the middle of sets to discuss in detail the drama of their lives. He is great with the kids who screw around and the kids who are shy and quiet. He is great with the kids with disabilities, and the kids who are only there because their parents "make them."

In short, in the last couple of years I became a much less "psycho-swim-parent" in large part because of the calm professional demeanor, cool temper and quick wit of our coach. Sure every coach has a bad day, and lets slip something regretful, but those are extremely rare with Coach X.

I guess the reason I am writing to you is because I was hoping you might include something in the "for the coaches" section--encouraging them not to give up on the crazy parents---just keep their cool, remain professional, let us blow off the steam---Parenting is much more difficult that I ever thought it was going to be, and being a "psycho-swim-parent" was only one of the mistakes I made along the way. I was fortunate enough to have a Swim Coach with enough patience to let me discover the problem and correct it.

While not perfect by a long shot, I have become a much more encouraging parent, a supportive parent (of both the coach and of my kids).

I focus on the contributions I can make to my son's development of character, integrity, and commitment instead of on his stroke count, streamlining and freestyle technique. The leadership and modeling of behavior that I give my son in those areas transfers to his performance in the classroom, in the pool and with his friends. I let the coach do his job and I do mine and my son gets the best that both of have to offer.

Sincerely,

Former Psycho Swim Parent

Thank you, Swim Parent. I published your e-mail in its entirety because I couldn't write it any better than you did.

The Case for Breathing Every 3

Every swimmer should breathe every 3rd stroke during freestyle training. Many are reluctant to change. Allow me to state my case:

Exhibit A: Breathing bilaterally keeps your stroke even. Ever seen a swimmer who "limps" as they swim? Was he breathing every 3? Exactly.

Exhibit B: Breathing every 3 helps avoid neck and shoulder tightness. Swimmers who breathe only to one side try this: Turn your head to the right. Turn your head to the left. Is your flexibility equal in both directions? Most likely you can turn your head further to your breathing side.

Exhibit C: Head position determines body position. We breathe with our heads. In my observation, 99% of freestylers could improve their breathing mechanics. Thus with better breathing mechanics, almost every swimmer can improve her body position, reducing drag.

Exhibit D: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. To pick your head up or to pull your head to the side to side to breathe, you must support that position. Thus, unless your breathing mechanics are perfect, you are exerting energy and effort to support that imbalance. This is energy that could be used to propel you forward.

Exhibit E: "I get less oxygen when I breathe every 3rd stroke," say the every-stroke-breathers. Changing a habit is not easy. Learning a new skill takes time. At first, you will get less oxygen when you breathe every 3. As you develop your bilateral habit, you will learn to relax and breathe deeper. Soon you will be able to take in nearly as much oxygen as before.

Exhibit F: With imperfect breathing mechanics, the equal and opposite reactions can often cause stroke irregularities that can cause injury, most often to the shoulders. Who would have thought that simply breathing could injure you?

The floor is open for cross-examination.

A Father's Example

Last week, I was struck by the brilliance of American speedskater Apollo Ohno's daring tactics and last-minute heroics at the Winter Olympics' short-track speed skating events. I was even more in awe of NBC's "human interest" story on Apollo and his father. It went something like this:

Apollo was raised by his single father Yuki in Seattle. As a young speedskater, he excelled in his sport despite skipping out on training from time-to-time without the knowledge of his father. He and his father lived the crazy life of a skating family, so similar to that of many swimming families - up in the morning for practices, entire weekends spent at meets, much of the family time devoted to the sport. Apollo eventually became an elite athlete by 1998, but finished dead last at the Olympic Trials. "He could tell that I didn't give my best effort, that I gave up, and it crushed him," says a more mature Apollo now. When they returned home, Yuki took him to a remote oceanside cabin and DROPPED HIM OFF, saying "you need to decide what you want to do with your life." Heavy stuff for a teenager! Young Apollo sat in that cabin and thought, and finally EIGHT DAYS LATER, called his father and said, "this is what I want to do, I want to skate." Ohno has since become one of the most decorated Winter Olympians in history, by his own admission largely due to the path he has chosen since that day.

Hearing that story, part of me thinks Yuki must have been crazy to drop his son off and not go check on him for eight days. The lesson here is not in the details, but that Apollo's father asked him to make a commitment. After his son's last-place finish, it would have been easy for him to say, "You've reached a high level, and you did your best," even when it clearly wasn't the case. Instead, he asked his son to make a commitment, and backed it up with an equal commitment on his part. What a terrific example to sports parents everywhere who might struggle to get up early to drive their kids to morning practice, or who question whether their child needs to attend ANOTHER competition. Maybe the kid will become an Olympian, maybe he won't. But by encouraging him to make and keep a commitment and making the same one yourself, you are teaching your child a valuable lifelong lesson that won't be undone.

The T-Shirt Watcher Reports from Ohio

Here are a few of the best t-shirts spotted at this week's Junior Nationals in Columbus, Ohio.

This one was my personal favorite:



And this one a close second:



"Trying is for little girls with easy-bake ovens."

"Life without goals is like a race without a finish line."

"Fo Sho!"

"Onipa `A - Life is too short to live any other way."
(The phrase is Hawaiian for 'steadfast and true')

"OpportUNITY"

"Strong in body, strong in mind"

"When you are behind, don't give up. When you are ahead, don't let up."

"The fire of glory is the torch of the mind."

"Do work, son!" - BB

"Fate rarely calls upon us at the moment of our own choosing." -Optimus Prime Transformers

Though this one wasn't a t-shirt, it was too funny not to include here. Can you guess which coach this is?

Why You Need a Coach

Because coaches have wisdom gained from years of experience watching swimmers succeed and fail...because as an athlete, you only get one opportunity to reach your potential... because you need an honest voice to tell you how things are, not just how you want them to be... so that you have someone who has been there for every moment of preparation to share the excitement of victory with... so that someone who knows how bad you wanted it and how hard you worked is there to pick you up when you fail... so that when the days are long and hard, there is someone in your ear asking you to be better... because you do not really know the achievements of which you are capable... because the pool doors are locked at 5 a.m.... because deciding what to do every day at practice would take longer than you think... because where else would you hear the joke of the day?

Six No-No Phrases for the Swimming Parent

Several parents have asked me what to say to their swimmers to help them succeed. The conversations that happen between a parent and child can have a dramatic impact in shaping a swimmer's attitudes toward swimming. The phrases below are all things I have heard before, and I just cringe when I hear them. Each is an example of what not to say to your swimmer.

1. Introducing your child to someone as "the swimmer." "This is Johnny, the swimmer." Swimming is something your child does, not who she is. Help your child cultivate his identity as a person, and encourage him to be the best he can be at swimming. Ultimately, he will better be able to weather the storms of failure and enjoy the fruits of success in swimming if his identity is not wrapped around it.

2. "We came all this way/spent all this money/took all this time... and you swam slow/didn't try/performed poorly." Your kid is probably already disappointed in her own performance, without adding the weight of your parental sacrifices. Understand that it is the nature of human performance that your child will not perform at his or her best at every meet or in every race. The effect of making this comment is that the next time you make a sacrifice to go to a meet, your child will feel the added pressure - possibly to the detriment of his performance.

3. "Good job" (When your child doesn't perform well) She knows when it was a good swim and when it was a bad one. False praise does nothing but cheapen the praise when it is actually deserved. Try "good effort" or "you'll get 'em next time" or "I love you anyway."

4. "WE need to get this cut, WE need to win this event, etc." How many lengths of the pool are you swimming, mom? It is your child's swim, not yours, and you should try to promote his ownership of his performance. Be his biggest fan--there to support him through good and bad--not his teammate.

5. "It's probably your training" (reason why you swam slow). As a parent, it is important that you buttress your child's confidence in his coach. If you have concerns about your swimmer's progress, address them with the coach. Passing your concern on to your swimmer is likely to weaken the coach-swimmer partnership.

6. "It's okay, you don't have to go to practice today." This one comes up when your child is tired, cranky, or is just not wanting to go to practice. It is going to happen at some point that your age grouper will have one of these days. But rather than act as enabler by caving to your swimmer's desire not to attend practice, remind him that it his swimming and his results at the end of the season that will be affected. Remind him of the commitment he has made to his team and to his own swimming. The key is to get your child to make the decision, rather than having you the parent act as the passive enabler. It's tough -- you may not want to take him to practice either, but taking this approach consistently will help your child take ownership of his performance.

Coaches, do you have more you would like to add? Parents, any questions about effective ways to talk swimming with your kid? Let me know!